What a blessing, I love waking up early morning, and I mean very early around 3-4 AM. It’s a quiet peaceful time to reflect on my life while listening to Porcelain – Moby. Although sometimes not all life reflections make you happy.
One of the questions that I ask myself from time to time: “am I doing what I am supposed to be doing in this life?”
The answer at the moment is No and I’m not sure if it’s ever gonna be a Yes. This comes down to lots of reasons, mainly not being organized, or hesitation in making some steps, or other external blocking reasons. But honestly, the main reasons are my own responsibility and the worst part about it is when I don’t make a move in order to correct this.
The reason why I keep thinking about this a lot is that I fear failure and regret. I always think that when I’m old, I wanna look back at my life and think about it in a positive way, I want no regrets that I did something or I haven’t done something.
I am also an ambitious person, I always wanna be successful, either in my career or just life. So the idea of me not taking the right choices, or not doing the necessary steps in order to be successful, destroys me.
This song ^^ is too depressing, don’t listen to it.
So why am I writing about this, maybe it’s just to let things out, talking about fears is good, or even writing about them, seriously try it, it’s good! Like now I’m being positive and thinking about a change.
I gotta organize and set my priorities, dreams, and goals.